Sunday, January 29, 2017

10 Reasons to Not Start Blogging

You may be thinking of starting a blog. You, dear reader, are pondering preposterously on what to do next.

Here are ten reasons why you should NOT start a blog:

1. Starting a blog is complicated and time-consuming. You will have no idea what you are doing. But, you will do it anyway. Regardless of sacrificing the huge amount of your free time that starting a blog demands.

2. You will spend untold hours just choosing a theme. Once you’ve chosen, you will change it for another. You will then scrutinize every detail of the new one, decide you don’t like it, and start looking for another. This really will go on forever.

3. When you write your first post, you will agonize over every word. You will imagine that what you have to say is important and unique. We are all important and unique within our own families, but when it comes to blogging, there is no such thing. There is only millions of bloggers writing about a few hundred subjects. You must accept this fact and embrace your newly realised insignificance.

4. Only a small proportion of bloggers get thousands of followers. You will not get thousands of followers overnight. This will crush you and your enthusiasm will wane.

5. You will become obsessed with your statistics. You will fixate on how many views you have each day, and take a keen interest in geography in order to analyze from which countries the most views came. It doesn’t matter, of course, as a view is a view, who cares where it comes from, but you will do it. You may be a big hit in Andorra, who knows?

6. In order to get the thousands of followers your writing so rightly deserves, you will have to comment and follow thousands of blogs. Other bloggers pretend this is really interesting. It’s not. Trust me.

7. You may all ready have an actual real life, with real living and breathing people in it. That’s great, just don’t forget about them when you’re blogging. They will soon hate you for it. This point is important, so take notes if necessary.

8. If you do or have started a blog, never take blogging advice seriously. I trust you have the intelligence to get the hidden meaning of this point.

9. You may have employment, a job of work. This job will get in the way of your blogging time and you will resent your employers for it. Don’t start a blog if you want to continue to work and earn money, as turning up at work will become tedious and inconvenient. You may lose or leave your job. This will make you vulnerable to hazards such homelessness and starvation. Think carefully. Take notes.

10. There is no tenth reason to NOT start a blog. Blogging is an excellent experience and a great hobby. I highly recommend it. Remember, as a blogger you can write whatever you want. Even satirical, sarcastic and insincere parodies, work quite well. One important point on this, not everyone has the same sense of humour and some people may not even understand that you are writing a parody and may take your words seriously.

So what !